The Myth of Radiation Poisoning (cont'd)

Alas, faithful reader(s?), there is little to update on this investigation. As expected, in the first few days of the study, my neighbour showed no ill effects of living with the enriched uranium I had hidden in his home. He must have picked up a cold or something, though, because he hasn't come out for several days now, and just keeps moaning loudly and incessantly. I'm getting kind of annoyed, too, because his cat is dead and laying on the front steps. Not my business, though, I remind myself.

However, recent developments in the neighbourhood are about to explode, as I believe I have discovered shocking news about another neighbour. I hope, within the next few days, to expose the secret identity of a neighbourhood resident known only as … Double Wide! Stay tuned!