Case Closed! — Conspiracies and Mysteries Solved

"Inspired" by Patricia Cornhole's immodest claim that all those Ripperologists may as well give up their theorizing and debating Jack the Ripper's identity because she's written the final word, "Case Closed!" seeks to solve completely and forevermore the mysteries of the world. Case closed!

08 August 2006

Life's Little Untruths™

Case Closed™ Musings
by Manny Fatback

When I sit down on my back porch and watch the sun rise, my feet on the railing and a tall glass of Wild Turkey near at hand, I often begin to muse. And when I do, certain Untruths™ whisper in my ear. I've decided to share a few of these with the faithful reader of Case Closed™.

1. Oil: not actually tea, from Texas or otherwise.
2. Gillette is not the best a man can get.
3. While Folger's might be a nice part of waking up, the best part is not waking up after suffering a stroke or an unexpected bowel movement.
4. Nobody REALLY liked Napoleon Dynamite.

Join me, fellow reader, in sipping fine bourbon and searching for other Untruths™. If you find some, share them with yours truly, Manny Fatback.

This Case is Never Closed™.

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