The Myth of Radiation Poisoning (concluded—for now)

Apologies to all Loyal Order of Case Closed™ Readers (esp. those of Local #67821 in Utica, NY) for my absence these past weeks. It's just been a nightmare here at Casa de Case Closed™. My damned neighbour—the one who I've been secretly irradiating—upped and died for no good reason—I think he was purposefully starving himself to death because he sure was getting skinny—and it turns out he must have been working for the government because guys in black suits and sunglasses swarmed the area, followed by wieners in hazmat suits. A radius of two blocks was evacuated and we've all been questioned upteen times. Despite journalishistic credentials, no one's talking to me, and a lot of my neighbours have been giving me dirty looks at the hotel where we've been relocated. Obviously I was getting too close to The Truth™ and now the government has enlisted the neighbourhood to participate in the conspiracy.

So, the experiment has been called off because (a) my neighbour died unexpectedly and (b) the government knows that I know what's really going on. While not actually Case Closed™, I think that we can move radiation poisoning into the myth column.

The whole shitfizzle in the neighbourhood has also hampered my efforts to really dig into the whole Double Wide conspiracy, but don't worry, faithful readers, I'm on this one like a beagle on a leg. All I can say for now is, what do we really know about who played Jabba the Hutt …?