Case Closed! — Conspiracies and Mysteries Solved

"Inspired" by Patricia Cornhole's immodest claim that all those Ripperologists may as well give up their theorizing and debating Jack the Ripper's identity because she's written the final word, "Case Closed!" seeks to solve completely and forevermore the mysteries of the world. Case closed!

31 May 2007

An Apologetic Update to Our Cased Closed™ Reader

By Jessica Ithaca
Secretary to Manny Fatback

We here at Case Closed™ want to extend a sincere apology to our reader. Those people in search of the Truth™ as well as the Facts™ have been disappointed these past months, as the skilled writers at Case Closed™ have been less than vigilant with their posts. We understand how difficult it has been for people to get through their days without a closed case or a solved mystery. For that, we apologize.

Cletus Hookworm, editor extrodinare and collector of used urinal cakes, is once again suffering from Lazy Brain. Despite intial reports--and a burst of creative energy-- he has not recovered from this ailment.

(On the left, a Normal Brain. On the Right, Cletus's Lazy Brain)

Manny Fatback, skilled wordsmith and snack tester to the stars, has been recently diagnosed with Wild Turkey Poisoning. He will return soon--with a vengeance--and reminds his readers to keep watching the blog.

(Manny Fatback, before entering a clinic for Wild Turkey Poisoning)

Keep an eye on Case Closed™ for more doses of the Truth™!


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