An Apologetic Update to Our Cased Closed™ Reader

By Jessica Ithaca
Secretary to Manny Fatback

We here at Case Closed™ want to extend a sincere apology to our reader. Those people in search of the Truth™ as well as the Facts™ have been disappointed these past months, as the skilled writers at Case Closed™ have been less than vigilant with their posts. We understand how difficult it has been for people to get through their days without a closed case or a solved mystery. For that, we apologize.

Cletus Hookworm, editor extrodinare and collector of used urinal cakes, is once again suffering from Lazy Brain. Despite intial reports--and a burst of creative energy-- he has not recovered from this ailment.


(On the left, a Normal Brain. On the Right, Cletus's Lazy Brain)

Manny Fatback, skilled wordsmith and snack tester to the stars, has been recently diagnosed with Wild Turkey Poisoning. He will return soon--with a vengeance--and reminds his readers to keep watching the blog.


(Manny Fatback, before entering a clinic for Wild Turkey Poisoning)

Keep an eye on Case Closed™ for more doses of the Truth™!

AND NOW... A Case Closed™ Little Known Fact!

Did you know that recently, the world's biggest marshmallow strike was made in Canada? That's right, faithful Case Closed™ readers. During exploratory mining new New Puft, Saskatchewan, miners came across the biggest marshmallow vein ever discovered. Marshmallowologists believe this vein might very well yield enough 'mallow to last two centuries!



Canadian Security forces have beefed up their presence around the mine, fearing that Nestle terrorists might attempt to launch a hot chocolate attack. If this happened, the world's supply of the white, sugary treats could be devastated!

It's TRUE™!

(This has been a CCLKF)